rantings of an insomniac is a tumblelog.

I FUCKING HATE THIS!!!!!!

all these thoughts and emotions just continue to build and build and I just want to burst out screaming or crying. Sometimes I just want to punch the wall super hard or throw whatever is closest to me. But I can’t. I have to act normal, pretend everything is ok because it’s not ok to do those kinds of things in public. So I just get angry, I get angry if water splashes onto my shirt, I get angry if my phone slips out of my hand or if my pets keep crying or try to get close to me. I get angry if my mom tries talking to me and keeps asking question. I get so angry and I try not to because I know it’s not anybody’s fault and they haven’t done anything wrong. And I just want to stop feeling. I just wish I could be numb and block everything out but I can’t and I don’t know how to make it stop and I just want it to stop already